Swim Therapy

OMG. The strangest thing is happening. Something that has never, ever happened in the paradigm that is Kim. I actually am looking forward to going to the gym. Watch out for low flying objects of the porcine kind.

Last summer while watching Michael Phelps win 78 gold medals, I thought "hey, swimming burns allot of calories, I should try that". I even went and bought a pair of swim goggles and watched videos on youtube about how to swim a proper crawl stroke. But that's as far as it got. My gym has a pool, and when I joined, I thought I wouldn't use it. After all, it has glass walls on 3 sides of it, one side facing out to the street and parking lot. That doesn't quite seem copacetic with me in a swimsuit. But the idea that planted itself somewhere in my psyche last summer said give it a try. Costco had speedo swimsuits in my size. The stars were lining up. What the hell. After enduring 2 children's worth of ob/gyn doctors, nurses, receptionists (seriously, that's another story), I decided not to let a little cellulite stand in my way. Wait a minute - I flunked my YMCA swim class when I was 8. Not a problem. I've already thrown caution to the wind. I don't care if people glare at me for splashing too much, or smirk at my poor form. I'm doing this. And you know what - I loved it.

The first day, I was a little irritated with constantly swallowing my hair, even though it was in a bun. My little baby hairs are long, and they were really annoying. So I went out to Big 5 and bought a swim cap, even though I think they look dorky. The 2nd day of swimming, it was really enjoyable. Yes, I used the word enjoyable and a form of exercise in the same sentence. Half way through swimming laps, I developed a rhythm, and everything but breathing, kicking, reaching and pulling fell away. That noisy voice in my head that just won't shut up was silenced. Yes, my heart was pumping and I had to rest between laps sometimes, but that felt nice, too. I swam 1/2 a mile. The next couple of times, I swam 3/4 of a mile. Me. I can't frickin believe it. The one who hates water and failed her swimming lessons.

I can't really explain it that well. But the self-consciousness and insecurity that constantly plagues me goes away, and the weird thing, it stays away for awhile. I can walk out of the locker room in a swim suit to the pool surrounded by glass walls without even a towel while wearing a silly swim cap, and I have confidence. I know I am going to swim almost a mile. And it lasts when I leave the gym, too. Nothing has physically changed (yet), but doing this one thing makes all the difference in how I view myself. I might not be Michael Phelps, but that's not really the point is it. I'm me, and I don't have to make excuses for it. Call it swim therapy.